‘Stroomstoring te wijten aan tweedehands rook’

De recente grote stroomstoring (‘blackout’) in de VS en Canada heeft anti-rokers bij elkaar gebracht om te bezien of de gebeurtenis gebruikt kan worden om de strijd tegen roken te verhevigen.

“Kan de stroomstoring toegeschreven worden aan tweedehands rook?”, was de basisvraag van het congres waar veel kopstukken uit de Amerikaanse anti-rokersbeweging samen waren gekomen.

“Our grandchildren would never forgive us if we let this opportunity pass.”

Smokefree Advocates Having Trouble Blaming Blackout On ETS.
(from combined sources)
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Advocates for Smoke Free legislation called an emergency meeting over the weekend in order to seize on an opportunity to blame yet something else on second hand smoke or environmental tobacco smoke (ETS).
The meeting was held at The Robert Wood Johnson think tank in Washington, DC and antismokers from all over the country attended.

Said Russ Sciandra, head of Tobacco Free New York, “Our grandchildren would never forgive us if we let this opportunity pass.”

Mr. Sciandra continued, ” We’re just having a little trouble trying to work the blackout angle with the second hand smoke. I’ll bet Joe will come with something catchy.”

Joe Cherner, head of Smokefree.Org and founder of B.R.E.A.T.H.E., arrived late for the conference because he ” was afraid of being in the dark” and apparently needed reassurance “that the bad old terrorists had not struck again.”

“I’m really not comfortable being out and about so soon after this horrible event,”Joe told a group of reporters, ” I really wish I could be in France right now.”
When asked how second hand smoke could be the cause of the Aug 14, blackout, Joe replied, ” Look, everyone knows that smoking is bad for your health, soooo….”
Mr. Churner paused with a furrowed brow obviously in deep though, ” OK, I got it, smoking is bad for your health so second hand smoke must have done something to trip up the wiring……. ” Mr. Cherner’s voice trailed off and his eyes glazed over.

Just at that moment, Stanton Glanz of Tobacco.org, another anti-tobacco advocacy group joined the press conference.
“What Joe is trying to say is that you must be a fool if you think that second hand smoke didn’t have a direct cause to the blackout of 2003.”
He then slapped Joe Cherner on the head and told him to wake up.
“Joe get with it,”, Mr Glanz told Mr. Cherner. “You better come up with something we can sell to the pre…” He stopped himself. “I mean, Joe you’re a bright boy. Surely we can ….”
Mr. Cherner at that point blurted out,” I remember the Blackout of ’65 and everyone said that would be bad for business, and then came the blackout of ”77 and everyone thought that would be bad for business too…”
Mr. Glanz angrily stopped him,”Alright, that’s terrible, I wouldn’t sell that to my stupidest legislator.” Joe, I think we need to spend some more time in the think tank. Boys, we’ll see you in few hours.”  With that Mr. Glanz and
Mr. Churner both exited the room.

Two hours later Mr. Cherner returned to the press room, walked up to the podium and spoke to the crowd of reporters.
” OK, after hours of studying this problem we have come to the conclusion that second hand smoke did indeed cause the worst power failure in US history.”
When asked how this was possible Mr. Cherner replied, ” The fact that we believe this to be true is enough.  We do not need any evidence.” 
Mr. Cherner continued, if this was good enough for a judge in Arizona than it’s good enough for us.”
Mr. Cherner citing a ruling by an Arizona State judge, went on, ” Every worker has a right to see what he is doing and this is all the more reason that smoking bans are catching on all over the country. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m getting the heck out of here before something else terrible happens.  God, I wish I were in France.

“These are the rules of my administration,
No one’s allowed to smoke,
Or tell a dirty joke,
And kissing is forbidden.”
“The last guy couldn’t run this place,
He didn’t know what to do with it,
If you think this country’s bad off now,
Just wait till I get through with It.”
                    —Groucho Marx


John Iknowbetter, President
Stupid Law Educational Services, Inc.

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  • "Es ist schwieriger, eine vorgefaßte Meinung zu zertrümmern als ein Atom."
    (Het is moeilijker een vooroordeel aan flarden te schieten dan een atoom.)
    Albert Einstein

  • "Als je alles zou laten dat slecht is voor je gezondheid, dan ging je kapot"
    Anonieme arts

  • "The effects of other people smoking in my presence is so small it doesn't worry me."
    Sir Richard Doll, 2001

  • "Een leugen wordt de waarheid als hij maar vaak genoeg wordt herhaald"
    Joseph Goebbels, Minister van Propaganda, Nazi Duitsland

  • "First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win."
    Mahatma Gandhi

  • "There''s no such thing as perfect air. If there was, God wouldn''t have put bristles in our noses"
    Coun. Bill Clement

  • "Better a smoking freedom than a non-smoking tyranny"
    Antonio Martino, Italiaanse Minister van Defensie

  • "If smoking cigars is not permitted in heaven, I won't go."
    Mark Twain

  • I've alllllllways said that asking smokers "do you want to quit?" and reporting the results of that question, as is, is horribly misleading. It's a TWO part question. After asking if one wants to quit it must be followed up with "Why?" Ask why and the majority of the answers will be "because I'm supposed to" (victims of guilt and propaganda), not "because I want to."
    Audrey Silk, NYCCLASH