Dit is je laatste waarschuwing

Ook in Engeland komen binnenkort de gezondheidswaarschuwingen op de sigarettenpakjes te staan. Reden voor een columnist om eens wat alternatieve spreuken te bedenken…

FROM THE European Commission Committee for the Control of Public/ Private Behaviour:

The new health warnings on cigarettes are another triumph for the EU. To facilitate the public’s informed choice to do as we tell them, we have instructed Europe’s consumers not only that “Smoking kills”, but also that “Smoking may cause a slow and painful death”; not only that “Smoking while pregnant harms your baby”, but also that “Smoking may reduce the blood flow, and causes impotence”.

However, it appears that nobody is taking any notice. Despite our best efforts to save Europeans from themselves, millions continue to defy our advice and various bans by smoking in private. It is therefore proposed to intensify the campaign.

Here are the proposed new EU warnings for the UK cigarette market, with alternatives to be used wherever they are deemed more relevant to the target audience:

  • Smoking causes wars
  • Smoking can turn you into a racist/an in-line skater.
  • Smoking is the biggest factor contributing to global warming.

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  • "Es ist schwieriger, eine vorgefaßte Meinung zu zertrümmern als ein Atom."
    (Het is moeilijker een vooroordeel aan flarden te schieten dan een atoom.)
    Albert Einstein

  • "Als je alles zou laten dat slecht is voor je gezondheid, dan ging je kapot"
    Anonieme arts

  • "The effects of other people smoking in my presence is so small it doesn't worry me."
    Sir Richard Doll, 2001

  • "Een leugen wordt de waarheid als hij maar vaak genoeg wordt herhaald"
    Joseph Goebbels, Minister van Propaganda, Nazi Duitsland

  • "First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win."
    Mahatma Gandhi

  • "There''s no such thing as perfect air. If there was, God wouldn''t have put bristles in our noses"
    Coun. Bill Clement

  • "Better a smoking freedom than a non-smoking tyranny"
    Antonio Martino, Italiaanse Minister van Defensie

  • "If smoking cigars is not permitted in heaven, I won't go."
    Mark Twain

  • I've alllllllways said that asking smokers "do you want to quit?" and reporting the results of that question, as is, is horribly misleading. It's a TWO part question. After asking if one wants to quit it must be followed up with "Why?" Ask why and the majority of the answers will be "because I'm supposed to" (victims of guilt and propaganda), not "because I want to."
    Audrey Silk, NYCCLASH